Coin of a Goddess

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Should I keep going with this?

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Coin of a Goddess

Post  Larenthi on Wed Jul 01, 2009 2:54 pm

I often write in bulk, so I got this little extract, and am just wondering if tis worth continuing. How is it, for a beginning? (Of a novelette type length story).



He watched the coin fall, unbearably slow, and hit the marble floor. It spun, once, twice, thrice.... and then stopped. It toppled, and he held his breath. The small symbol facing upwards was that of the goddess, Deiphosa. He looked up, the emperor’s sickening smile chilling him to the very core.
“Guards.” His voice was toneless, bored almost, as he leaned back into his throne. Niodrek looked down to the coin again, his breathing light. So; the Gods wanted him dead. Or at least, Fate did. The sound of approaching guards did not worry him. He was no great believer of the Gods. He would die when he was ready, not at the drop of a coin from an emperor he despised.
He licked his lips, and turned to face the approaching men. Each were lightly armoured, but carrying the traditional twin swords of The Drakosi. It made sense that the emperor would have the elite legion as part of his bodyguard.
The nearest smiled apologetically, now a mere four feet between them. He glanced to the emperor, awaiting the final command. Niodrek leapt forwards, smashing his fist into the man’s nose, and taking one of the swords. He whipped it across the man’s stomach, going through the leather armour to draw blood, and then back again across his throat.
The soldier stood, his expression one of surprise. Niodrek took his other sword from the loose hand, and the man toppled backwards.
He gripped the twin blades, testing their balance, and then lowered into a combat stance. The room was still recovering from its shocked silence, and the lightning kill, as he smiled readily.
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Re: Coin of a Goddess

Post  NinjaLadiesMan on Sun Oct 04, 2009 2:05 pm

This is really good

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